Color Me Butterfly

There are levels of abuse that males have endured that need to be exposed, disected and discussed to bring healing to souls of men such as the verbal, emotional and mental abuse and from my perspective cuts deeper than physical.

All the forms of abuse you mention are rife throughout all kinds of human relationships, affecting children being abused by their parents often unknowingly, and back again to parents being abused by their children. General abuse is not gender specific in my view, but physical violent abuse is, as males tend to be stronger physically and their excuse is probably that a slap is quicker than trying to understand the other person!!! Women because of their lack of physical presence will turn to emotional and verbal forms of abuse. Mens view of physical violence may be that violence is short lived whereas emotional abuse is longterm, but physical violence used often causes stress, trauma and distrust and eventually leads to the breakdown of the 'relationship'. Women believe that men should be using their physical strength in protecting them, not trying to kill them, and I would imagine that men expect women to be nurturing and caring instead of aggressively undermining men.

All abuse is wrong and disavows the victims' rights to respect and humane treatment.

Abuse begets abuse is another danger. We have to raise our consciousness to include the belief that all people have rights and responsibilities. As Christ said something along the lines of, 'inasmuch as you have treated the least of my brethren, you have treated me the same'.

My views are coloured by the fact that I was in a physically abusive relationship, and I have had my daughter turned against me by her father. Abuse is control. People who control others using abuse are themselves fearful, afraid of other peoples power.

I agree that men can be broken emotionally by abusive women - there needs to be awareness of all forms of abuse, perhaps abuse is really another term for bullying and harassment. We have laws against it in the workplace, the abuse going on in our homes needs to be dealt with not by the law but by education, public discussion and forums such as these. Counsellors need to be educated in accepting that many forms of abuse are cleverly hidden in domestic situations, affecting both the adults and children.

Michele, first of all greetings and hello to you dear heart. I do apologize if i seemed if i were selfishly speaking. I just wanted try and expose a topic that i feel have been overlooked or rarely discussed and my heart does go out to you. I wasn't a victim of physical abuse but was abused both verbal and emotional and just wanted to raise a topic of discussion not for debate but to bring counsil and ministry to victims both male and female and I think you have made valid points in your comments.

i was abused physicaly and emotionally by my mother. the physical started when i was very young and lasted till i was about 17, and the emotional when i was around 12 years old. my mom beat me and my twin with a piece of garden hose like you would use to water the lawn. i have lumps under my skin on my arms back and rearend. my mom was like hitler. there were so many rules, irrational rules. my mom would scearm at my dad often around dinner time, usually because he did something wrong like pouring too much pop in glass. i would get panic attacks often. i'm 33 now i never went on a date till this march. we just broke up because i am so ****ed up from living in that house. it is by GOD's grace that i haven't killed myself yet. i hate who i am...