Color Me Butterfly

If you are blessed to live long enough you will certainly experience your share of difficulties and hardships. How we recover from these events is just as important as getting through them. 

I found myself holding on to all the “wrongs” which were “waged against me”.  For instance, I was once laid off from a job that I loved.  Although I found another job fairly quickly, I remained hurt and bitter at my loss. Then there was the time that my son chose a…. well…. alternative method of earning a living. Unfortunately, he was incarcerated.  The experience resulted in my son totally turning his life around.  Though proud of my son’s accomplishments, I remained angry and bitter towards my ex-husband whom I blamed for my son’s problems. By the way, my ex-husband was blamed for a multitude of wrongs against me!!!

This, amongst other things, was my baggage; and I wore this baggage like a badge of sorrow.  I wouldn’t allow myself to heal and move on.  At times I couldn’t sleep, eat, or focus on anything else but my “perceived” problems.  And it was draining me.  Draining me of productivity, my life contentment and most of all, my happiness.  I’m certain my friends were sick of hearing me talk about it.  

Finally I realized that I was harboring these negative emotions, keeping them alive inside me.  I decided to take a step back and that’s when it hit me:  It is my faith and beliefs which sustain me.  The healing journey has various guideposts.  The final guidepost is letting go of the hurt and pain encountered along the way. 

I no longer harbor negativity.  My life has greater meaning and purpose.  Being able to weather the storm, heal on the inside and out, and land on your feet is truly a blessing.

Ciara Wright
New Brunswick, N.J