Know Someone Who Can Use Help? > My Wife was abused by her father from age 13 - 20

My wife told me while we were dating about her father sexual abusing her form age 13-20. Although I still find it hard to understand why it went on from age 18-20, I had to be the one to seek counseling. I told her I had no problems becuase her father was never around, now I can't stand to be in the same room with him. She has so-called put it passed her and to me he still continues to do her favors in order to keep her quiet. My wife makes me feel like the guilty one or the one that should let it go. I truly believe like her ex-husband who stated it was eating him away.....I am feeling like her ex-husband. My counselor indicated she only mentioned it to both of us because she hasn't finished dealing with it. We have a beautiful daughter (4 years old, Madison), and I refuse to let him close to her unless his wife is around. Her father (Judge) comes across as a nice guy, but when I look at him, I can't help but see a guy that raped, sexual abused my wife and I want to take my wife out of Dallas and relocate, but Candance is making me feel like the guilty one.
May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRichard
Forgot to mention she was sexually abused. Also, her mother made her go stay with him every other weekend from age 13 and she don't remember a weekend when it didn't occur. Is that sick or what?
May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRichard
It seems as if your wife is in denial about the entire situation. It is sort of puzzling why it continued beyond the age of 17. The thought that comes to my mind is did this action really occur. I question the behavior of your wife. I would fish around your father-in-law to see if he would bite. Ask questions but indirectly of course.
May 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterConfused
My wife's father is now avoiding me, he comes to the house and talks to my wife at the door. I told my wife that I was going to talk with her father about how I felt about him and how it's difficult for me to have him around, I don't know if I am looking at her father or the man that had sexual intercourse with her for over 8 years and I hate being around him. What makes me even more upset, my wife told him that I was going to talk to him and about what. Not sure why she is protecting him....he has an eleven year old daughter in the house and his new wife doesn't know anything. It is sickening.....how my wife and her mother kept this family secret. What is your take?
May 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRichard