Know Someone Who Can Use Help? > How do yu get your daughter into therapy

My daughter is in a physically abusive relationship. He is getting anger mangement help and has been arrested twice. I fear for the life of my daughter and why she can't get away from this knowing he has a problem.I fear for the impact it is having on my 4 grandchildren.(2boys/2girls). I don't want them to accept or inflict this with their spouses. I talk to her on eggshells because I don't want her to rebel but open her eyes wider and get out and stay out.She knows he has a problem. She is concerned about him getting help not realizing she also need help. I was never abused.I want her to be finished with him.Can love be that strong or is it fear of not finding someone else. I know it's easier being on the outside and saying get out.I want her to leave denial for herself and the children.
October 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary
Mary,

Your daughter is in what I would call a cycle of I want to believe he will get better. Believing in another person is not wrong, but first she must believe in herself in order to take care of the children.
I remember feeling like he wouldn't do it again, and I'd stay and he'd do it again because he doesn't know anything else and as long as we allow it to happen, they will do it. (Why do we believe that its us that has to change, when if they didn't like you in the first place why are you here?)

Helping him is a good idea, but on the other side of the door kinda help. It is hard to find a man out here today, but believe me your sanity and the physical and emotional state of your children is more important than any man. (I'm alone with two children) but I'm sane.

He doesn't want help because he doesn't see he has a problem. I suggest your daughter get help for herself and her children first. Church, Shelter somewhere away from his influence of fear upon her, otherwise she'll never leave.
Fear will paralyze you and that's what the abuser is counting on, you need them.

It took me a long time to break out of the abuse cycle as it occur in many forms, from abuse by step parents, raped, abused physically and mentally, but I believe my home life set me up to attract negative people because I didn't care about me first,the verbal abuse was worse for me because I could still hear the words.

Abuse emotionally cripples you, can make you feel nonexistent,like you are walking around dead just going through the motions.

Give your daughter and your grandchildren as much love as you can, and don't allow anyone to come between you and them. (If the abuser knows you will not let go it helps)
Abusers alienate and control, cut off people from the ones that love them making them feel alone and ashamed.
God didn't make any of us to be abused and live under those conditions, we fought to get away from slavery only for slavery to be demonstrated in our own homes. ( I felt like a prisoner in my own home)

I pray for peace, love and joy for you and your family.

October 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl
Mary, I understand how you feel about your daughter and her situation. My daughter is going through the exact same thing and I dont know what to do anymore. I have 3 grandchildren who are also in the middle of it all. I fear for them everyday. This guy that she deals with and have children by is such an awful person. He has come close to killing her in many ways. I am so afraid that it will happen if she doesn't get help also. somewhere in her heart she believes that he will change and i truly don't think that he will. he's been sick a very long time. she thinks that i don't love and support her in the things she go through. that is not true...i just moved in different direction in my life and i don't have time for all the aggravation. especially since it's been going on for so many years. i wasn't married or in a serious relationship when she got with him, but now i am and living in another state. but always worried about her and the children. i don't know what to do. he's on the run from the police and i think he should be turned in before he hurts her and the children. can you please give me advice on how to deal with all of this. i know she needs therapy..but she always find an excuse as to why she can't get started right now, which leads her right back to square one. so please can you give me some answers?
March 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne
http://www.cl-pumps.com Christian Louboutin pumps
http://www.cl-pumps.com/200-christian-louboutin Christian Louboutin shoes
http://www.cl-pumps.com/201-manolo-blanhnik discount Manolo Blanhnik Boots,
http://www.cl-pumps.com/192-jimmy-choo Jimmy Choo sandals ，
http://www.cl-pumps.com/196-yves-saint-laurent cheap Yves saint Laurent shoes
http://www.cl-pumps.com Christian Louboutin
April 19, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristian Louboutin pumps
christian louboutin red shoes also is a symbol of the accident. <a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/">Christian louboutin outlet</a> At that

time, his aides have to paint, <a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/">Christian louboutin sale</a> he Kakuta red

nail polish bottles, inconvenienced by the design sketch of his half of the

picture, <a href="http://www.christiangogo.com/christian-louboutin-pumps-c-

1.html">christian louboutin pumps</a> some. "That I was able to draw at

random, right, mark your heart ... <a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/sneakers-for-men-flat-c-5.html">christian

louboutin sneakers</a> I'm an element of the United is it," he said. He

said. None of his many customers,<a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/sneakers-for-men-flat-c-5.html">christian

louboutin flats</a> according to the man red shoes have a fatal attraction.
June 3, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristian louboutin sale
christian louboutin red shoes also is a symbol of the accident. <a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/">Christian louboutin outlet</a> At that

time, his aides have to paint, <a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/">Christian louboutin sale</a> he Kakuta red

nail polish bottles, inconvenienced by the design sketch of his half of the

picture, <a href="http://www.christiangogo.com/christian-louboutin-pumps-c-

1.html">christian louboutin pumps</a> some. "That I was able to draw at

random, right, mark your heart ... <a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/sneakers-for-men-flat-c-5.html">christian

louboutin sneakers</a> I'm an element of the United is it," he said. He

said. None of his many customers,<a

href="http://www.christiangogo.com/sneakers-for-men-flat-c-5.html">christian

louboutin flats</a> according to the man red shoes have a fatal attraction.
June 3, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterchristian louboutin sale
Laws should be equal for both men and women as it is the right thing.
June 16, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAbercrombie