Recently I was silenced by a story on CNN about teen girls at a Massachusetts high school who’d made a pact to get pregnant and raise the babies together.  What is happening to our world when we hear stories like this?  More importantly, what’s happening to our daughters? 

Our daughters seem to have lost their way—become vulnerable and fallen prey to the highest rates of teen pregnancy, dating violence, mental illness, STDs, low to no self esteem, lack of self respect and self worth.  There is much to do about this—to overturn the negative cultural mores that have begotten our daughters.

My daughter is beautiful!  Absolutely lovely.  When I visit with her, she often steals my breath away.  She steals it away because although she’s beautiful on the outside, I have to consistently remind her to pull back the layers and reveal her true beauty—her Inner Beauty.  I have to remind her that the exterior is only a cover-up to the interior—that the greatest joys in life come from the inside out.  And whenever she forgets this, I’m there to remind her . . .

I tell her that she is whole whenever she feels broken.
I tell her that she is bright whenever she feels dull.
I tell her that she is intelligent whenever she feels inadequate.
I tell her that she is worthy whenever she feels worthless.
I remind her of her self values and self respect whenever it evades her.
I reinforce that she deserves the best—the very best—that life has to offer.

My daughter and I don’t always agree.  She tells me that I muddle too much.  I remind her that it’s my job to muddle (though at times I do acquiesce and allow her to navigate her way through life’s lessons).   

Parents must 'muddle' whenever possible.  Our daughters, are indeed, the treasures of the earth so let us always be reminded of their sparkling destinies.  Let us guide our daughters to build bridges to life’s greatest pathways.  Moreover, let us hold  them close and help them shine as the jewels that they are.

Let us, more than ever, take back our daughters.

On Tuesday evening, I had the distinct pleasure to be a part of an event that moved me to near tears.  This event was not only attended by anyone who is any one (service providers, practitioners, survivors and the like) in the domestic violence community, but was hosted by some of the most noteworthy and reputable congressional members such as Senator Joe Biden (DE), Senator Mike Crapo (ID), Representative Jay Inslee (WA) and Representative Dan Burton (IN) in cohorts with the National Network To End Domestic Violence (NNEDV). 

The event?  An Annual Reception and Congressional Breakfast to thank Congress and others for their leadership to foster change and to make a call for next steps to end domestic violence.

There was so much purpose, passion and power in that room you would have thought by the end of the evening the sheer thought of domestic violence as an epidemic would be no more.  But, it’s just not so.  Domestic violence is one of the leading causes for 911 emergency calls, visits to the emergency room and homicide amongst women and children.

In meeting many powerful names, I have renewed faith that we will find a way to enforce real change.  Change for the nameless who are being victimized and even murdered everyday by an horrific epidemic.  As a survivor, a mother, an advocate, a woman, I have vowed to work with these notables to seek justice and become the voice for those who were present in spirit, but whose voices continue to be obliterated because they have not the resources nor the fortitude to ‘speak out’ on their own.

Beyond the scent of Braised Lamb, Coconut Shrimp and Merlot (my favorite), there was the scent of courage and passion for change.  Anyone who has ever helped a victim escape the traps of an abusive relationship . . .  Anyone who has ever witnessed the scaring on a woman’s face . . .  Anyone who has ever seen the emptiness in a child’s eye . . . Anyone who has ever . .  anything . . .  was in that room that night.  A sight that I will forever hold in the deepest corner of my heart.  A sight that I will take with me when I speak before Congress about the Saving Promise Campaign. 

Who knows?  Next year when I attend this event, I will not only be brushing polite elbows, I will be locking arms with those whom have encouraged, supported and cheered my journey to Congress.  The spirits of the nameless victims will be in attendance as well as a celebration of our victory for them, and the countless others to come.

Recently I hosted a Saving Promise Symposium and presented six policies that I have written to change domestic violence laws. Policies that are long overdue such as stricter restraining orders, mandatory counseling for batterers, more rights for victim’s families to intervene on behalf of a victim, child’s life protection to further protect our children, further domestic violence training for law enforcement agencies and personnel, a national behavior and support hotline for batterers, and programs to raise awareness in public and private schools.

I received an overwhelming positive response to these policies. One person even said “it’s about time that someone has taken a comprehensive approach to addressing the needs of domestic violence laws. While there were positive responses to the policies, I know that it’s going to take some strong-arming to get our policy makers on board and pass legislation for much needed change. But you know what? That don’t discourage me one bit. In fact, it entices me to want to do more, to want to make a difference. The one thing my foremothers have taught me is that anything worth having is worth fighting for. So guess what? I’ve rolled up my sleeves and can’t wait for the challenge.

As I glove-up, move towards the center of the boxing stage, and face my opponents, I am everso reminded of my granddaughter Promise – the child who’s life was threatened by her very own father. His words: He was going to bury Promise’s body where nobody could find it. Those words have lit a fuel beneath my torch – a crusade in its own right to Save Promise, Save Families. Save Lives.

Why don’t you join me in this fight? Glove up and meet me at the center of the boxing stage by pledging your support. It only takes a few seconds – seconds that can save a life.

Maya Angelou once said: I come as one but I stand as ten thousand. 

Though I come as one, I’d like to believe I stand as ten thousand with your support.

Pledge your support now!

So many women, like I, encounter the worst that domestic violence and abuse has to offer.  And when I travel from coast to coast, my message is one that teaches self empowerment and perseverance.  I come from a school of thought that laments that no matter your circumstances, you have the power to overcome any obstacles.  You hold the gift to change your life.  Only you can keep YOU from moving forward.

I, for one, understand how bleak life can sometimes look when you’re wallowing in the pits of abuse.  I totally understand how it feels to have your self esteem, your self worth, your SELF, stripped away from you.  I know the perils that dampens your spirit and forces you to want to ‘give up’.  But I also know that there is nothing that can keep us from the life we deserve.  A life full of healing, good health, and happiness.

My life credo?  To always know that no matter your circumstances, you can change.  Take one breath at a time; one step at a time; one walk at a time.  YOU have the courage and the creed to persevere.  Do it!

Last week, I appeared as a guest on one of the most renowed talk radio programs for women - Women Power Talk Radio and conducted an interview that provides insight into my families' struggles with intergenerational abuse and what ultimately inspired me to write Color Me Butterfly.

The Executive Producer and Host, Raven Blair Davis, did a phenomenal job interviewing me and giving listeners a detailed insight into my life and Color Me Butterfly. 

This interview will by far allow you to get to know me, the women in my family, my families' struggles and triumph; and more importantly, my thoughts about domestic violence and abuse and women in general.

Why don't you join and listen in to Lunch with Author L.Y. Marlow.  I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed sharing it.  Click here http://www.womenpower-radio.com/archives.html to listen in now!

Note: when you arrive at the site, scroll down to 'L.Y. Marlow - Lunch with An Author' and hit the PLAY button.