Color Me Butterfly

I sat with knots in my stomach, gripped by the arms of reality as I watched the video that Oprah shared with the world.  The one where Susan Still sat on a bed, her arms raised across her face and head, protecting herself from the fierce blows that came at her; the ones where her thirteen-year old son stood propped behind a camera, while Ulner Lee Still, Susan’s now ex-husband stood atop her – scouring blows and berating her:  telling her how “stupid” and what a “dumb heifer” she was.  My heart swelled with grief.

As I watched, I was reminded of the horrible times and stories that my mother and grandmother shared with me about their abuse; and about similar circumstances when I was just seventeen-years old, my arms raised protecting my head and face, my eyes cowering to the ground, afraid to look at him for fear that another blow was imminent.  I was reminded of a time my mother shared with me about when she was a young wife and mother, forced to walk down the street by her husband’s side – facing a stoned wall as he threatened to kill her if she were to even look at anyone – let alone another man.  “He didn’t have to worry about me looking at no one,” my mother shared.  “My face was so battered that I was too ashamed to look anyone in the eye for fear they’d see the bruises.”  I was reminded of a time when my grandmother lay vulnerable and powerless as my grandfather herald strikes that were capable of breaking a small woman in half – tampering her body, her mind, her soul. 

Susan Still’s raised arms – are the raised arms of many women.  Women who may raise their arms in self-defense or raise them in shame.   The same shame that Susan endured for many, many years.  The same shame that my grandmother, my mother, myself and my daughter, absorbed for 60+ years.  A shame that too many women carry every day because they don’t have the courage, the power or the strength to raise their arms and say no more! 

My heart goes out to Susan and her family.  I am proud of her for finally finding the courage to take a stance, raise her arms, and say no more.  No more would she allow herself and her children to fall victim any longer.  And just as Susan was brave enough to raise her arms, we as a society need to raise our arms in unison.  Raise them for every woman or child who fall victim daily to the vicious cycle of domestic violence and abuse.  Raise them to our constituents in the government, private, and public sectors and encourage them to raise their voices in putting an end to domestic violence and abuse.  Raise them to our families, communities and friends and ask them to join in the fight against a plague that is soon becoming one of the worst epidemics in our world.
The next time you or someone you know encounters domestic violence and abuse, I implore you – beg you to find the hope, the courage, the strength to raise your arms and say NO MORE!