Color Me Butterfly

Christmas is very special to me.  But not for the reasons that we’ve all come to appreciate.  Not because I love the frost bite of joy in the air; or the white dangling snow that covers the trees; or because of the smells of apple cider on Christmas morn.  No, Christmas holds a more sacred place in my heart for another reason.  It is filled with memories of long ago when I first made the choice to end a rollercoaster of abuse… and take back my joy.

I was once one of millions of women who on Christmas Day had to find a way to bring joy to her family, her children; all the while covering up the bruises that pinned her body and heart with pain.  Bruises that took away her joy, made Christmas feel more like a nuisance than a holiday of cheer, and gratitude, and faith. 

I remember a time when I had to put on the phony smiles, and fake pleasantries, just to carve my way through it all.  Well, one holiday season after living in fear for a few years, I decided ‘no more’… it was time for IT to end.  I deserved so much more… my new baby girl deserved better.  My D-day came at a time when I least expected – battered and bruised – but I had longed for this day and nothing could stop me – not even my fear. 

Years later, it was during the first Christmas that I had lived free of the abuse that I realized how much I had missed this glorious holiday.  And each year thereafter, as I unwrapped each gift, I was unwrapping a whole new life – a life without pain . . .  a life without shame . . . a life without fear – and I knew that I was experiencing a Christmas miracle – a new me!

Domestic violence tends to rise during the holidays.  If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, why don’t you call the Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE and give yourself or someone you know the gift of healing, peace and freedom.